Ane Marie - Chapter IV

Ole and Ane Marie's Wedding

The 'courting' period is an interesting time of a couple's life. It only lasts as long as one of the parties involved is not sure about their feelings for the other person. Once they are both convinced that the other person is their life and love, then it's only a matter of planning and timing.

Ole and Ane Marie were never left alone from the moment he and her father came out of the bedroom until their wedding day. He came every week to visit, but he never got to stay too long. He was welcomed with open arms, fed, talked to, and then her father and Ane Marie would walk him over to Rasmus and Ane Kjerstine's home.

It only took Ole three weeks to get up the nerve to ask Papa for her hand in marriage. Late one afternoon they were in the barn, clearing space for the fresh hay that would soon be harvested. Ole rested his hands on the pitch fork he'd been using. He stuck it in the ground in front, placed his hands on the end of the handle and then rested his chin upon his hands.

"Mr. Rasmusen, I need to ask you a question."

"Ole or Papa, please." He stopped with a fork full of hay. "You'll make me feel like an old man."

"Ok, Papa, I need to ask you a question." He stood straight up with his hands at his side. "I love your family and…"

"Yes, yes. I know you love my family … and all my daughters." Papa didn't dare look up, but he was having fun at the young man's expense.

"But I love Ane Marie more than life itself." He rubbed his hands together and then stopped, his hands gripped in a pleading clasp.

"I can't breathe around her. And when I'm not here with all of you, all I think about is being with her and..."

Papa interrupted Ole's pause and then finished his sentence, "…us?". He stopped, stood straight up and looked at Ole. "I've known that since the day you met." Papa's face was tough and he didn't crack a smile, but the twinkle in his eye gave him away.

"Please, Mr. Rasmusen, can I marry Ane Marie?"

"Only if you promise to love her this way forever." His smile was a serious one. "Have you asked her?"

"Well, uh, kind of.", he took a breath. "I told her on the first day I met her that I was going to ask you for her hand in marriage."

"And what did she say?"

"She asked me if I was going to ask her first. I told her that I had just done that and then I said 'Well' and she said 'Why not'."

" 'Why not?' You might want to ask her again, but this time, ask the question in front of her mother…if you dare." Now Papa's face broke into a grin. He could hardly wait to see the faces of his wife and daughter when Ole asked them. "When do you want to ask them?"

"Right now!"

"Right now? Can you wait until dinner? Once you bring up the subject I won't get anything else done this day. When were you thinking you would have this marriage?"

Now Ole's excitement was bubbling. "As soon as possible. I, uh…" He saw the look of concern on Papa's face. "I, uh, think that would be up to the women. Right?"

"Very right! Let's get this finished and go ask them." His own excitement began to undermine his determination to get more work done.

While they finished they spoke of the next summer, but Ole wondered if Mama would allow them to be married in the spring, but Papa had been married long enough to know that Mama wouldn't like that, since all the preparations would be on her head.

They kept working until the sun was just below the horizon, but then Ole nearly ran to the house. Papa was hurrying along behind him because he did not want to miss anything.

When he and Ole got to the house they quickly washed up in the basin on the back porch. Papa couldn't stop grinning as he watched Ole carefully fold the towel he'd just used and place it back on the hook.

When they came in the door Papa watched Ole as he looked around the kitchen for Ane Marie and Mama. He saw Mama first, but then stood transfixed by Ane Marie's gaze. Papa smiled at Mama and then looked back at the two young people. Juliane came in the room, about to ask her mother a question, but when she looked around for her mother she saw Ole and Ane Marie she stopped, frozen by the tension.

"Ane Marie Rasmusen, will you marry me?"

She never looked away from his face. "Yes!"

Mama looked at the two lovebirds and, smiling, repeated the, "Yes!"

But then, as the couple stepped towards each other, Mama stepped in between them. Mama's face and demeanor changed. She looked at Ane Marie and ignored Ole. "But everyone is going to have to help." She put her hand on Ane Marie's shoulder and turned her away from Ole's waiting grasp. Ane Marie's hand reached out for Ole's hand. Her Mama dragged her towards the kitchen table and Ane Marie dragged Ole behind her.

Mama sat Ane Marie down in a chair and kept talking. "When can we do this?" Still holding Ane Marie's hand, Ole knelt on the floor next to her. Mama was oblivious to his presence. "I know, early next summer." Both of the young people groaned.

Ole and Ane Marie both looked at her, pleading. In unison they said, "Mama!"

Mama began her litany of things to be done. Every family member would have to be involved in the preparations for the wedding, but since this summer was already upon them, there would be no time for anything except farming and fishing until very late at night. A wedding next spring would have been before the planting, but before the fleets sailed and the spring storms set in. Now, the good weather and quickly shortening daylight hours meant that every precious minute would be used to the max. Mama, Ane Marie, Kjerstine, Johanna and Juliane would all be busy sewing new clothes for the wedding.

And then the impatience of the newly betrothed began to erupt.

"Mama," said Ane Marie, "We love each other too much for a long engagement. It would be very hard on the rest of you as well as on us. Can't we do this simply?"

"This only happens once! Simple won't be good enough."

It was decided that the wedding would take place in early to mid-November, when the fishing boats came in for their last replenishment before the long nights of winter. For some reason the best fishing always took place in the worst weather. Lots of good things happen in the dead of winter.

The material for the dresses came as a gift from Uncle Niels. When he heard from Papa that this young man had asked to court little Ane Marie on the very day he met her, Uncle Niels liked him. The fact that Ole was employed as a fisherman created an immediate bond between them.

Whenever Ole came he brought colored objects for Ane Marie and the children to practice juggling with. And he would bring some new song that he had learned or was practicing. But all he wanted to do was to hold Ane Marie. Every chance he got, he would hold her hand, supposedly showing her how to balance two or three objects in one hand. She usually dropped them because he didn't let go in time. Everyone would laugh and then it would be Juliane's turn. Johanne and Anders were often too busy to play, but Juliane was a perfect sitter for the two.

August and September slipped by, almost unnoticed, but October crawled for Ole. All of the fishing days seemed a hundred hours long, and cleaning up the boats afterwards took an infinity. By the time he was done, he was so exhausted he couldn't hardly move, let alone walk the 17 kilometers to the Olsen's house.

On Saturday afternoons, after he was done with work, he would set off for the Olsen house. It took nearly two hours to walk that far. By the time he got there it was time for dinner. He often brought the fresh fish that were part of his pay. Mama would fry it up, or, if he got there early enough, she would bake it with some shrimp sauce. Anders would bring in some vegetables from the garden, like yellow squash and onions and they would have a real treat.

Since the wedding was going to be in November there would be no fresh flowers, so Mama and the girls were busy gathering and hanging long stems of flowers upside down inside the loft, away from the sun. There they would dry. Most of them would lose their colors, but some, the brightest and boldest blues, reds and yellows, would keep some hints of their original beauty.

Ane Marie spent a lot of time with her new sister-in-law while Rasmus was out on the fishing boats, working with Ole. They had known each other since she was about six and Ane Kjerstine was thirteen. But now, with so much more to bond them, they seemed to have unending conversations and discoveries about everything under the sun. But mostly they talked about the men in their lives.

While they did the chores around Ane Kjerstine's house they talked about every annoying habit that Rasmus had. They were all brought into question.

"Why does Rasmus bite his nails and spit them under the table?"

"He started doing that before you two got engaged. Mama would smack him with a wooden spoon every time she caught him. Do you have a heavy wooden spoon you can catch him with the next time he does it? I'll bet that just seeing the spoon will remind him what Mama did to him."

"Why can't he put his dirty clothes in the basket? He wears the same shirt until it can stand in the corner on it's own. I've sewn him three new shirts since we got married, but he says that they are too fancy to wear."

"Anders does the same thing. Mama began placing his shirts in a bucket of water on the back step, but he just wrings them out and puts them back on. Yuck! She threatened him last week that if he does that again she's going to have Papa put him and the shirt in her wash bucket.”

Then the subject changed and Ane Marie asked, “When Ole comes, does he talk about me?"

"He never stops talking about you. He has all these big plans to be in show business, but Rasmus and I keep telling him that he is going to have to have a steady job if he wants your hand. Your Papa isn't about to let his daughter marry a wastrel."

"Before you and Rasmus got married you seemed so happy. I'm miserable."

"You've already moved the date up two times. You have to give us time to get everything ready. Remember, you only get married once."

"All this waiting and preparation is driving me insane. All I ever do is dream about him and about being married. We don't even know where we are going to live."

"Well that's part of the reason for waiting, to get things like that decided and prepared."

"I know. But you and Rasmus didn't wait that long and you're ok."

"Yes, but I've been preparing for a long time. Don't forget, little sister, I'm eight years older than you are. I had to wait a lot longer than you for Rasmus to get the nerve to ask me to marry him."

"When did you know that you wanted him to ask you to marry him?"

"Not very long after I was baptized, three years ago. I was sitting in Church, listening to one of the Elders talk about marriage being a sacred ordinance for time and all eternity. I began wondering whom I should marry and your brother's face was the only one that I saw. I looked over to my right and there he was, three rows in front of me."

"Did he know then too?"

"Oh no. It took him another year before he even came over to see me. He asked me to come to his baptism and…"

"Mama was so mad at him. You know he did not tell Mama and Papa he had joined the Mormons until after he told them he was going to marry you."

"I was pretty sure that they were going to blame me for him joining the Church. But, like I said, he didn't even speak to me until he asked me to come to his baptism."

"Oh, no, they don't blame you. They blame those Americans and they were just upset that he didn't even talk to them about it. Mama is a Lutheran, but Papa has never been baptized and Mama worries about him. She thinks that he will be baptized, someday."

"Your Papa is a really good man. I can tell a lot about him by the man I married. Anyway, that Sunday, as soon as I realized that he was the one, I started making preparations. My mother had left me a couple of things for my wedding, but I decided that I needed to get a lot more prepared if I was going to start my own family. My sisters fretted over the fact that no one even seemed interested in me. They use to say, 'Why are you in such a hurry now? You're not even seeing someone.' They use to chide me about being the young, spinster sister. But they helped me sew these pillows."

"They are so beautiful. I love the fringe."

"They bought the thread down in Koppehaven. The shop keeper told them it came from China."

"Oh, I'd love to travel. Uncle Neils talks about the different places he's been and I think that I'll never see any place but these hills, but I want to."

"I think that there are a lot of places that you will see and a lot of things that you will do, before you begin dreaming of where you've been. Nothing is beyond you."

"But all I want to do is get married."

"Why do you want to get married?"

"Huh?"

"I mean that you should really think about what it means to get married. I've been doing a lot of thinking about why I got married."

"What do you mean? Don't you like being married?"

"I love being married!"

"But?"

"Oh, please, don't misunderstand. I love you brother with all my heart, mind and soul. He is tender and strong. I'm safe in his arms and I tremble at his touch. I'm not saying that I have any questions about why I'm married. This is the answer to all my prayers. I'm just saying that you should think about what it will mean for you to be married."

"Ok. You scared me for a moment. I mean if my big brother has done something stupid I'll get a club and beat him."

"Oh, no. He has been the perfect, gentle man. I want to be with him for all eternity. When he is away from me I only think of him being back. My heart jumps when he comes through the door. I pray for him to be kept safe at sea. The Lord knows that I love him. And I know that he loves me."

"Well, ok then. But if he needs a beating now and then, just let me know. I can still whack him."

"Thank you. But I was asking why you want to get married?"

"When I see Ole I want to be in his arms the way we were when we were dancing at your wedding. We moved as one and I felt as if my heart would burst with joy."

"Yes. And…?"

"When I work at the sewing basket, my mind begins to wonder what it will be like, sewing for my own husband. I think about sewing him a shirt to wear upon his shoulders. I can feel the material, smooth in my hands, and I wonder what it will feel like on him."

"Maybe you should be thinking about what it will be like to pick up that shirt from off of the floor and to clean it, again and again. It's not all dancing. There's a lot to do to keep a clean house around a man. Especially your brother. You'll never believe where I found his stockings this morning."

"Where?"

"They were on the kitchen stove!"

"No! He still does that?"

"When I grabbed them up and shook them at him he only smiled and said, 'Thank you' and gave me a hug."

"He never hugged Mama. Of course, she would smack him with her wooden spoon whenever he did things like that.”

“Ole will never do anything like that. He's a perfect man. Whenever he comes to visit he helps with the clearing of the table and he even comes in to help me do the dishes. It's about the only time we can hold hands."

"Ane Marie!"

"Oh, it's ok. They're under the water so no one can see."

"It must take you a lot longer to wash the dishes that way."

"That's what Mama says." And they both laughed.

"But, seriously, what do you think will change when you get married?"

"Everything. We will be together forever. I'll curl up in his arms and be safe and warm. We'll get a house and we'll have some children. He'll go off to work and I'll keep the house and wait for him to come home. It will be perfect, just like you and Rasmus."

"Oh, yes. Perfect..." A flash of the morning's rush for the pail next to the bed reminded her of how 'perfect' it was going to be. In a few more weeks everyone would be able to see how 'perfect'. But scared or not, it did bring a warm glow to her that she and Rasmus were going to have a baby.

"Now stop that!"

"What?"

"You know, thinking about things that I don't have any idea about. I've seen how the two of you look at each other, with all of your secrets. I'm jealous! That's another reason I want to get married. I want to have those kinds of secrets, the kind that are only shared by a husband and wife. I want to be part of that."

"You will be." Ane Kjerstine was knitting while she was talking. The wool was very white.

"What is that you are making?"

"I don't know. It's just something to keep my hands busy. My Aunt Margarethe taught me."

"Show me!"

"Well, you make a loop around the needle and then poke it through here and make another loop and then pull it back. It's really very simple."

"I think I see. Do it again."

"…you make a loop around the needle and then poke it through here and make another loop and then pull it back."

"Oh, my, look at how soft this is. It's beautiful. What will you …" Ane Kjerstine's face was so serene that she looked like an angel with a fluffy white cloud in her lap. Ane Marie's mind finally connected the images. "You're going to have a baby!"

"Yes, but please, don't tell Mama and Papa, or anyone else. Not yet. Promise?"

"Oh, I promise. But, a baby!" Ane Marie's smiles got bigger. "Now that's a secret!"

"Well, it's not one that we can keep for very long."

"Mama will be so excited. This will be her first grandchild. Ane Sophie and Peder have been married for three years but such a blessing has not come to them. And you two, barely married three months. Wow!"

"By the time you're married in two months, I'll be out to here." Ane Kjerstine held her hand about 6 inches from her stomach.

"Oh my goodness!" Ane Marie bent over and hugged her sister-in-law. Then she pursed her lips in thought, "We have to re-design the dresses." Ane Marie's excitement calmed as she began to think about the changes that would soon come about in her life as well.

"I've thought about it, and, if we change the dresses to all have high waistlines, just below the bodice, then no matter how big I get, I'll still be able to wear it."

"You're right! That's what we'll do. Mama wants me to decide on the material this evening. Now that you've helped me decide on the design, I know the colors I want. Mama and you will be in the dark green and everyone else in the blue."

"Oh, good. I like that material. And it's sturdy. It will last a long time."

"What are your going to name the baby?"

"We're a bit nervous talking out loud about the baby, because so much can happen. We have the whole winter to go through."

"You're going to be fine. You're strong and healthy. Your baby will be born just fine." Ane Kjerstine looked so tender with the fluffy white pile of yarn in her lap it was easy for Ane Marie to visualize the coming child. "So, what names have you chosen?"

"Well, we haven't decided exactly. But if it is a boy, I think that it should be named after our fathers. I like 'Ole Peter Oleson' but Rasmus thinks that 'Peter Ole Oleson' would be good."

"And if it's a girl?"

"Well, 'Maren' or 'Sophie' or 'Bodil'. We haven't made up our mind."

"Bodil?"

"After my mother and sister."

"I didn't know that you had a sister Bodil."

"She died when she was four, before I was even born. But Mama used to talk about her. Mama said that she was a sweet and gentle child, all smiles and laughter. When I told Rasmus he said that we should name one of our children after her."

"Well, how many children are you going to have?"

"As many as the Lord will allow. Rasmus and I want to raise a great big family. Lots of boys and girls."

"I hope that Ole and I have lots of children. I think that he will make a great father. He is so good with my sisters. They love being around him. But we have not talked about it. It's impossible. My little sisters always get to sit in his lap so we can not talk about such things. I get so jealous sometimes that I just want to scream."

Ane Kjerstine laughed at the pained look on Ane Marie's face. Ane Marie scowled at her and went on. "I mean, I want to push them off and put my arms around his neck and snuggle my head down on his shoulder, but they get to. And then there's the giggling and laughter and tickling."

"Well sure. He's just a big kid that doesn't talk down to them. He treats them as sisters and enjoys being around them. That is a very good sign. They feel safe and they can be themselves."

"I know. It's just…"

"Don't worry. He will hold you longer and more tenderly than they will ever know. And I'm sure that when he finally gets to tickle you, you will scream and giggle just as loud."

"Oh. So that's what those noises were."

Ane Kjerstine's face went red. "Shush!" But she smiled.

They spent the rest of that day cleaning the house and talking about the dresses.

October was weeks away, but the dresses were barely finished before it was time to decorate the church again. This time there would be a reception outside the Oleson home.

Ane Marie was glowing when she came out the door of the Bride's room and took her father's arm. She smiled at him, but then her eyes turned and focussed on the man standing beside her brother Rasmus. From that moment on, Ole was all that she could see. Beneath the veil she was so intent that she nearly forgot to say yes when asked if she would 'love, honor and obey him until death did they part'.

And when the pastor finally said, "You may now kiss the bride.", she didn't wait for Ole to lift the veil. She kissed him through the veil and then pulled back so he could lift it off of her face. When he finally did get it above her face, she kissed him again with all the passion that had been building all of her life.

Ane Marie's mother let out a laugh that startled even her.

When the bride and groom turned to the audience there was cheering and applause. They stood there for only a moment and then they both started to run down the aisle.

That's when Papa Ole stepped in the way to 'remind' them that this day was not just for them.

"All right you two! Wait until the rest of us to get outside and get in place."

They stopped, still holding hands. Then they embraced again, waiting for the others to get out the door.

"I love you, Mrs. Ane Marie Andreasen!"

"I love you, Mr. Andreasen."

Papa stuck his head back in the door. "Enough, already. Let's get this party started!"

They both laughed and slowly walked to the door of the church, swinging their hands as if they were on a Sunday stroll. Mr. and Mrs. Andreasen were married and now they could hold hands in public.